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allison " the girl in the white coat " cameron
09 June 2006 @ 08:08 pm
It's been a long week -- allergy season means old patients calling in and dozens of new referrals all at once. For now, I'm caught up: I've done my e-mail, answered all referrals, returned all phone calls, and I've even managed to eek out a shift in the clinic. Tonight, I get to crawl into a bubble bath and read a good book (I'm still in the middle of Girl With a Pearl Earring, which is shameful). I know the next time I set foot in the hospital, I'm going to be overloaded again, so I am going to enjoy this weekend while I have it.

My sister wants me to come back to Michigan for some kind of fourth of July family reunion, so I'll have to see if I can make it. Much as I'd like to see her again, and my niece, I'm not sure if I'll be able to take the time off. I suppose it depends on whether or not House decides to take on a patient anytime in the next year.

I'm still worried, but I'm not going to think about that tonight.

You know, that bath is sounding really good, so that's all, folks.
Current Mood: neutral
Current Music: K's Choice - Almost Happy
allison " the girl in the white coat " cameron
29 May 2006 @ 06:26 am
I can now swear inventively.

This skill is going to be more useful than I'd originally thought.

Barbecue today. I apologize in advance. I've been up for the past two hours trying to make brownies. The first batch was a mess; I put in half a cup of salt instead of half a teaspoon. This is going to take forever, there's flour and cocoa everywhere, and I think there's even some in my hair. On the other hand, the apartment now smells rather nice, as if someone actually lives here.
Current Mood: not worried
Current Music: Counting Crows - Anna Begins
allison " the girl in the white coat " cameron
27 May 2006 @ 02:07 am
It's almost Memorial Day. There must be some event on campus, as on the drive home, I saw several men in uniform headed in the same direction. There were families as well. I suppose they've lost someone.

Between that and a conversation from the other day (and, yes, all right, even that damn Dickinson poem), I've been thinking about what makes a person good, what the most important thing is. There are times when I think of calling Dr. Charles and saying, yes, okay, I'm ready now, let's go. Let's go to Africa and do something good for once. And there's Doctors Without Borders and the Red Cross and a hundred other places I could be, places that are argurably better than here, in some moral sense. I can see the logic to the other side: what I do here impacts few people (we save many every year, but that's a daily count for others), and it is a prestigeous fellowship. I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate the line it adds to my résumé. When I'm done here, I could do almost anything, really.

I just don't know what's important. I'm too old to believe that one person, or even a large handful of people, can save the world. I---this will sound so stupid, and I fully expect House to unleash his blistering wit against me if he ever sees this---I do think, sometimes, that we make a measurable difference here. House gives patients no one else can treat back their lives. Wilson brings hope and closure and comfort to patients and their families. Yes, of course, the system fails, we can't stop it all, but as a stop-gap to death, we're not so bad. We're almost good.

That's not a lot, but it's something. And isn't that enough, somehow?
Current Location: home
Current Mood: slightly hopeful
Current Music: Counting Crows - American Girls
allison " the girl in the white coat " cameron
To whomever left this stuck to my case notes:

Oh, very funny. I know you're bored, House, but this is positively unimaginative.

(You know, I actually can't stand Emily Dickinson. In my opinion, I generally think it's hypocritical and a bad idea to take advice on living from people who shut themselves in their houses. I also don't believe in taking advice from people who name themselves after inanimate objects -- e.g., Ayn Rand.

Beyond that, you can sing every Dickinson poem to "The Yellow Rose of Texas." Try it. I had a roommate who used to do that. It's almost fun. At least, we thought it was at 3AM during finals week.)
Current Location: diagnostics lounge
Current Mood: v. slightly annoyed
Current Music: House doing ... something.
allison " the girl in the white coat " cameron
25 May 2006 @ 12:54 am